"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace."
Ah forgiveness. It is one of the hardest things for humans to do. Whether it's forgiving yourself or forgiving someone you care about it can be a rather difficult concept to grasp. When we are wronged by a friend, family member or significant other, the hurt can sting and cut deep. Our initial thought most likely won't be to forgive them. Days, weeks, months, even years my past and you may still be holding on to what that person did to you (have anyone in mind?).
You may be thinking "Why do I have to forgive them? They did ME wrong. Shouldn't they apologize first to mend things?" If you're feeling that way I'm here to assure you that your feelings are completely valid! It's not fair that you had to go through what you went through and now you have to be the bigger person and forgive. Unfortunately though, that's just the way life is at times and it totally sucks trust me I know.
Why should I forgive?
Forgiveness dives deeper than what someone did to you. We forgive not because they deserve our forgiveness but because we are entitled to our inner peace. We forgive because we refuse to let someone have that kind of power over us. We forgive because by not doing so, we are allowing space for anger and bitterness which we do not need in our life.
Have you ever thought about what happens when you hold on to past wrongdoings? Essentially you are holding a grudge and let me tell you sis that is not a route you want to take. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Weather you realize it or not, not letting go can damage you on the inside. You can carry that hurt into other relationships and other areas of your life. Not forgiving can also affect your health both physically and mentally. What are some steps that you can take to begin forgiving others?
4 steps to forgiveness
1. SAY GOODBYE TO NEGATIVITY
Step back from the situation and be honest about what went down. This will help you to say goodbye to any bottled up resentment you may have. It will feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off your shoulder and help you begin to regain closer.
2. DROP ANY EXPECTATIONS
You have to come to the realization that you may have to forgive without an apology. We have no control over what the other person does. Try to remember that this process is purely for you so do not expect anything from your wrongdoer.
3. LEARN THE LESSON
If you do not take the time to learn the lesson you may run the risk of repeating the same mistake. Figure out what the situation is telling you, note the lesson and do you best not to repeat it.
4. FORGET AND MOVE ON
Come to terms that you cannot change the past. Focus on changing your thoughts, attitude and actions right now. Find your inner peace and move on with your life.